Monday, April 2, 2018

When I Don't Know

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts."

~Isaiah 55:8-9

I often dream at night.  Many nights I don't remember much except that it was weird and strange.  That's the normal for me.

Tonight, I dreamed about a competition.  My best guess was that it was a bicycle competition of some kind.  It involved many people and snow.  Our last obstacle was a ramp that curved up from the ground and you had to ride your bicycle up to the top of it in order to win.  (Think American Ninja Warrior ramp.) This ramp was covered in snow making it even more impossible to ascend.

When everything was over, several of the top competitors and me wanted to change the rule about this snow. We noticed at the top of the ramp, leaders were meeting and making decisions on the rule or something else.  Whispers continued to happen; but we could not figure out what they were saying.  Over and over and over we tried to understand, but never made out what the conversation was really about or what was the final decision.

I woke up pondering this dream.  I wondered what did it really mean.  Then it hit me...God.  I have been on a bit of a journey.  One with extremely rough seas, but for good reason.  One that now has some calmer seas.  And one that is far from over, even now.  I have often asked God, why? or what now?; but He doesn't really give me any direct answers.  Only that I don't need to know.

That's a hard pill to swallow...not knowing.  I am not typically a planner, but I do like to have an idea of what's ahead, even if it is just a big picture kind of idea.  Not this time.  God is teaching.  He is teaching me total, absolute, 100% dependence upon Him and Him alone.  Anytime I try to move outside of that, He brings me to a place where I simply do not know.  And all the while, He says...MY ways are not your ways; MY thoughts are not your thoughts.  Son, I have a plan.  It is perfect.  Just trust ME...alone.  No one else, not even yourself.  My grace and love are sufficient and perfect for you.

I am willing to submit to Him, even if I cannot know what is ahead.  In the end, I have faith that it will work.