The Heart Of A Man

Walking Backwards

In the last week or so, God has been bringing to light some ways of thinking and some heart attitudes I thought I had dealt with long ago. He has a way of doing that.

I've done a lot of things in the past that I'm not proud of, been ashamed of really. I've caused a lot of pain to those I love. I don't like looking at it, thinking about it, or even remembering it. It's ugly.

This morning though, God gave me a word picture to describe how I've been living.

One of my favorite things to do is to go walking on the beach. However, God showed me that how I've been living is like walking backwards on a beach with a broom in my hands. I'm trying to sweep away and cover up the footprints that I leave behind me. However, this creates several problems. Here are some of them:

1. When I walk backwards, I don't see where I'm going or the people around me and I end up stepping on them and hurting them.
2. When I walk backwards I don't see the opportunities ahead of me.
3. No matter how much time I spend sweeping my footprints, I still leave a mark that cannot be erased, even if many people never notice it.
4. If I keep trying to erase mistakes and forget where I've been I'll keep repeating my mistakes over and over again.
5. God placed within me a love for walking on the beach. When I walk backwards focused on erasing my past I fail to enjoy the life, the walk, He's given me.

Not a pretty picture. However, it helped me to see how I'm choosing to live.

God also brought to mind something my pastor said in his sermon yesterday. He mentioned that he believes the apostle Paul everywhere he went, each opportunity he had to share the message of Christ, remembered the Damascus road. He remembered where he had come from...from what he had been saved. That humbled him and reminded him, inspired him, to want others to experience that same freedom and restoration.

I've been trying hard to forget, to make others forget, where I've come from and act like none of it ever happened. Thus, I've been mired in my own sin and failure, destined to repeat it. Instead, God is calling me to let my past inspire me to praise Him, humble myself before Him, to be grateful for where I am and every opportunity I'm given to seek to make the most of it for His glory.

I can live in the past and be consumed with shame and self-doubt, or I can look to God and let Him lead me to success in the future. I can look around me and see how God can use all things for our good and His glory. He can turn the pain of my sin into opportunities to love my wife as He loved the church. He can turn the failures of my past into opportunities to guide my children into a life of joy and freedom. He can turn my sorrows into joy and set me free to learn, live, and love.

It's time to drop my broom, turn around and start living the life He's given me.

posted by David @ 7:03 AM